Painful Sex Isn't Normal - And You Don't Have to Just Put Up With It

By Pretty Proven

Have you ever had sex hurt... and just not said anything?

If the answer is yes, you're far from alone.

Painful sex, known medically as dyspareunia, affects approximately 1 in 5 women throughout their lifetime. For women experiencing perimenopause and menopause, that number rises to almost half (up to 45%)(1).

Yet despite how common it is, it's rarely something women openly discuss.

Many women silently tolerate discomfort, convince themselves it's "just part of getting older," or worry they'll upset their partner by speaking up. But painful sex should never be something you simply endure.

Painful Sex Has Many Causes

One of the most important things to understand is that painful sex isn't a diagnosis itself - it's a symptom.

There are many different reasons sex may become painful, including:

• vaginal dryness

• hormonal changes (particularly declining oestrogen)

• pelvic floor muscle dysfunction

• vaginal infections

• endometriosis

• skin conditions affecting the vulva

• childbirth-related changes and scarring

• certain medications

• emotional factors including anxiety, fear or past trauma.

Because there are so many possible causes, it's important to speak to a health professional. If sex has become painful, your GP, women's health GP or gynaecologist can help determine what's contributing to your symptoms and discuss appropriate treatment options.

Why Vaginal Dryness Is So Common

While painful sex has many potential causes, vaginal dryness is one of the most common.

Oestrogen plays an important role in keeping vaginal tissues healthy, elastic and naturally lubricated. When oestrogen levels fall - particularly during perimenopause, menopause and after childbirth, especially while breastfeeding - vaginal tissues can become thinner, less elastic and produce less natural lubrication.

This can lead to:

• pain or discomfort during sex

• burning or irritation

• micro-tears in the vaginal tissue

• reduced sexual enjoyment

• avoiding intimacy altogether.

The good news is that vaginal dryness is treatable, and no woman should feel embarrassed about seeking help.

You Don't Have to Push Through the Pain

Research consistently shows many women minimise or dismiss their symptoms.

Some don't want to disappoint their partner.

Others assume it's simply part of ageing or motherhood.

Many don't realise effective treatments exist.

But pain is your body's way of telling you something isn't quite right.

Whether it's occasional discomfort or something that's been affecting your relationship for months or years, it's worth having the conversation.

Looking After Your Vaginal Health

For day-to-day comfort, many women achieve relief with vaginal moisturisers and personal lubricants during intimacy. 

Depending on the underlying cause, your doctor may also recommend one, or a combination, of the following:

• vaginal oestrogen therapy (where appropriate)

• pelvic floor physiotherapy

• treatments for existing infections or underlying medical conditions.

The right treatment depends on the cause, which is why a clinical assessment by a qualified health professional is important essential step.

Why We Love Drip

At Pretty Proven, we're passionate about helping women feel informed, empowered and supported at every stage of life.

That's why we're excited to collaborate with Drip.

Drip is an Australian-made brand creating premium personal lubricants designed to support comfort, confidence and intimacy. Their evidence-informed approach, commitment to quality and focus on normalising conversations around sexual wellbeing aligns closely with Pretty Proven's mission to make women's health information more accessible and less taboo.

Drip has a formula for however you like to show up. Their water-based lubricant is lightweight and natural and the one to reach for if you want something latex-friendly. The oil-based formula brings a richer sensation and doubles beautifully as a massage oil, while their silicone-hybrid product is built for long-lasting glide when you want things to go the distance. All drip lubricants are made glycerin & paraben free, designed for sensitive skin too.

Lubricant won’t treat the underlying cause of vaginal dryness, but it can make a real difference in the moment by reducing friction, comfort and glide, allowing intimate moments to be enjoyed without the worry. 

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The Bottom Line

Painful sex is common.

But common does not mean normal.

You deserve to enjoy intimacy without discomfort, embarrassment or silence.

If sex is painful - whether you're postpartum, breastfeeding, navigating perimenopause or menopause, or experiencing symptoms at any other stage of life - don't ignore it.

Start the conversation.

Speak with your GP or healthcare professional.

Because women's pain deserves to be heard, understood and treated.

Pretty Proven provides evidence-based, unbiased information for women about health topics that matter and we’re proud to partner with brands that champion women and their health. 

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Through our conversations with Drip we’ve been able to secure Pretty Proven women a 15% site-wide discount on their premium sexual wellbeing products. Enter the code PRETTYPROVEN at checkout. Valid until 07.09.2026.

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Reference: 

1. Reed SD. Dyspareunia-where and why the pain? Menopause. 2022 Jun 1;29(6):639-641. doi: 10.1097/GME.0000000000002001. PMID: 35674643; PMCID: PMC9191839.